Letter for a Volunteer Coach:
Today I heard a comment made about me behind my back. I started to turn
around and look, but then decided better of it and kept my eyes on the
field. My wife hears things like this more often than I do, because many
of you don’t know who she is. She tells me
what you say. I have received angry emails, full of “suggestions,”
about who should be playing where and how I... lost that day’s game for
the kids. I thought I’d write an open letter to all of you parents, even
though I might never send it. I’ll start it
this way: “I am a volunteer.”
I’m the one who answered the call when the league
said they didn't have enough coaches. I understand that you were too
busy. I have some news for you. I’m not retired. I’m busy too. I have
other children and a job, just like you do. Not only do I not get paid
to do this – it costs me money. I see you walk up to the game 15 minutes
after it started, still dressed for work. Do you know I’ve already been
here over an hour? Imagine if you had to
leave work early nearly every day. I’ve never seen you at a practice.
I’m sure you’re plugging away at the office. But I’m out here, on the
field, trying my best to teach these children how to play a sport they
love, while my bank account suffers.
I know. I make mistakes. In fact, maybe I’m not even that great of a
coach. But I treat the kids fairly and with respect. I am pretty sure
they like coming to my practices and games, and without me or someone
like me, there’d be no team for them to play on.
I’m part of this community too and it’s no picnic being out here on
this stage like this. It’s a lot easier back there with the other
parents where no one is second-guessing you.
And I also know you think I give my son or daughter unfair advantages. I
try not to. In fact, have you ever considered that maybe I’m harder on
him than on the others? I’m sure he hears plenty of criticism at school
from classmates, who hear it from you at
home, about what a lame coach I am. And if, even unconsciously, my kids
are getting a slight advantage because I know them better and trust
their abilities, is that the worst thing in the world, considering the
sacrifice I’m making? Trust me, I want to win
too. And if your son or daughter could guarantee we’d do that, I’d give
them the chance.
After this game is over, I’ll be the last one to
leave. I have to break down the field, put away all the equipment and
make sure everyone has had a parent arrive to pick them up. There have
been evenings when my son and I waited with a player until after dark
before someone came to get them. Many nights I’m sure you've already had
dinner and are relaxing on the couch by the time I finally kick the mud
off my shoes and climb into my car, which hasn't been
washed or vacuumed for weeks. Why bother cleaning it during the season?
Do you know how nice it would be if, just once, after a game one of you
offered to carry the heavy gear bag to my car or help straighten up the
field?
If I sound angry, I’m not. I do this because I love it and I love being
around the kids. There are plenty of rewards and I remind myself that
while you’re at the office working, your kid is saying something that
makes us all laugh or brings a tear to my eye.
The positives outweigh the negatives. I just wish sometime those who
don’t choose to volunteer their time would leave the coaching to the few
of us who do. |
